Lesson 19

Well, about 15  minutes after our last lesson, I took a pregnancy test. You're now going to be a big brother. You've already been asking me about where the baby is, can you kiss the baby, and telling the baby night night. I think you're already smitten. I never had a big brother. I always wanted one. I'm a big sister, I was the responsible one. Also the bossy one. No matter what kind of sister I am, something must have stuck, because no matter hard I try, I can't get rid of your uncle... (That was a joke. :) ) There is something about being the oldest child. I almost feel a little guilty about being pregnant again. Your life is going to change, you're no longer going to be the center of the universe around here. You're going to have to learn how to share, you're going to have to learn to help a bit around the house, and you're going to have to learn how to look after your baby brother and sister. Which brings me to lesson 19.

Being a "Big" is a big responsibility but it's fun. You're going to have a little brother or sister, for life. Forever. Long after Dad and I are gone, you're going to have your brother or sister. You'll always look out for each other, you'll always worry about each other. Some days he/she is going to hate you. Some days you're going to hate him/her. You'll get into trouble together, and you'll blame each other. If you're anything like your uncle and me, you'll probably have some fist fights along the way. That's the point of having siblings. There's something about having a brother/sister that teaches you things nothing else in life can. Always look out for your brother/sister. Don't rat them out for every little thing, but know when you need to. Don't take on their responsibilities, but help them out when they need it. Having a sibling can be one of the greatest things, on days when you want to strangle him/her keep telling yourself that. Cause, God knows, you're going to need to.

Lesson 18

Exactly 11 years ago today, I was sitting in the basement of a church, eating BBQ trying (and miraculously succeeding) to keep it off my wedding dress, and making sure no one was bored at our wedding reception. Looking back on it, your dad and I were pretty young to get married. I wasn't even old enough to have champagne with our toast. I met your dad when I was 15, he was 17. Just over a year older, but because of our birth dates, 2 months out of the year he's 2 years "older." We were high school sweet hearts, married the summer of my second year of college. By the time we were married, we had known each other for almost 6 years. I know a lot of people never thought we'd get married, and some didn't think it would last because we were so young. Which brings me to lesson 18...

One day, you're going to fall head over heels for someone. It may happen when you're 12, it may happen when you're 22. I'm going to bet it will happen in high school. While, I know that MOST high school relationships rarely work out, I promise I'll try to not tell you it's puppy love. I know that it can work out. I also know it takes a lot of work, especially at that age. It won't be pretty or easy, but it is possible. Your dad actually broke up with me when I was a junior in high school. The break up lasted all of 6 months, and we've been together ever since. I know teen love is real. So is the heart break from it. Even if you don't marry each person you are so sure you love when you're that age. I also know that if you're really, truly meant to be with someone, you'll get back together. Either because of a nasty tornado like us, or because you bump into each other on the street. It could happen months later, or even years. Just remember that not every relationship has to last for ever, nor do they have to be short. One day, you'll meet someone. You'll fall head over heels. Maybe for a month, maybe for a year, maybe for a lifetime. Just remember, when you do find the "one" it will work out. If it doesn't work out, it will hurt. Bad. That doesn't change if you're 12 or 22.

Lesson 17

Time flies. I didn't mean to wait so long before my next entry, we've had a LOT of family in town the last month, Uncle Keith, Nikki, Chrissy, all the boys... add the 4th of July to that and the ER visit for my back, and we've been swamped. You've done so well too. No tantrums, and you've been listening. You're even doing pretty well potty training. Last week, Uncle Keith, Grandma, Grandpa and the three of us went out for lunch. An older man, maybe in his 70s made a point to come over to our table before he left to tell us you were the most well behaved child he'd seen in a restaurant in a long time. I was a little embarrassed, but thanked him just the same. I do think there is a definite difference in how children act today compared to when I was a kid, but I would imagine every generation says that. I do know that with all the play dates we've had lately, we've had a lot of kids over and out of all of them, only 2 so far were well behaved enough that I wouldn't mind having them over again for inside play. It's a fine line to walk when you have other people's children in your home. Especially when the parents are over too. You can't really discipline them, and you have to be careful not to offend a parent when you ask a child to do something or to stop doing something. Which brings me to lesson 17...

No one is ever going to raise their children the way you think they should. There are thousands and thousands of books giving parenting advice. I would imagine at least some of them are right. Still, there are no perfect parents nor are there perfect children. I'm not perfect, you're not perfect. I will say you are one of the most polite two year olds I've seen. I'd like to take credit, but I think some of that just comes from you. Everyone has advice to give, but no one is perfect. Don't ever get into an argument over how to raise a child (unless it is with the mother of YOUR child.) you'll never win it. People don't take well to being given unsolicited advice on parenting. It feels like criticism and no one wants to be criticized. The street goes the other way as well. Always be gracious about unsolicited advice, and then choose on your own whether or not you want to follow it. If the advice giver is stepping over boundaries, just say, "We prefer XYZ. Thanks." Leave it at that. If they continue badgering you, just walk away. Raising a child(ren) is hard enough without letting other people get inside your head. Besides, if you do end up raising the perfect child, you can write a book.