Lesson 36

Thanksgiving is tomorrow, I've been furiously cleaning and getting ready. You've been doing a lot of playing on your new track. I've been washing dishes, doing laundry, scrubbing toilets, making sure everything is ready for a houseful of people. There are days you practically beg me to come upstairs and race you or watch. You love it when I bring your brother up there and we watch you go around the track, he loves it too. But, I have things that HAVE to get done. I hate seeing your face when I tell you I can't come upstairs right this second. I know it will pass after tomorrow, but the guilt is still there. Which brings me to lesson 36...

Mommy guilt sucks. I know that I'm staying home and seeing you and your brother way more than if I were working. I know that get to play with you and hold you all day. Even though I have cleaning and laundry to do around the house, I know that the vast majority of the time is filled playing with you both. I still feel bad when I have to do something else instead of giving you my undivided attention, or when I have to spend more time with your brother for some reason, which means you get less. That's just part of having kids. One day, you might have kids of your own, and you need to remember you can't be everything all the time. You can't be everywhere all the time. There are things you're going to miss, like seeing you do something fun when you're visiting at Nana's house when Dad and I go to the movies. It's good for you to do things without us, it will help you learn to be independent, and more outgoing. I know these are all good things, but the "mommy guilt" is still there. There's not much you can do about it, other than make sure you spend time with your kids while you can. Remember that when you have kids.